how to finish a burger meal.

at these times of global financial crisis, it's a sin to make waste. precious food, whose market prices rise exponentially everyday, must not be taken for granted. this is similar to what your grandma used to say to you when you were young (ages ago, he3!!!).

focus panda, focus. ok, here i am, looking at my half-eaten burger. i suddenly became full. maybe because a few seconds before, i had gobbled-up french fries and dipped these decadently in mayo-ketsap mix. the said fries are good. it is with a distinct but delicious taste comparable to the fries of the golden arches, which by the way, i still rate as The Best.

anyway, going back to the burger, which now looked to me like anything but delectable, in between my hands, and held it there, waiting, or thinking what to do next. i had definitely lost my appetite.

should i throw it into the bin? come to think of it, it would be an awful waste. marami kayang nagugutom sa payatas... (there are many people starving in far away payatas, metro manila). ang sagot, bakit? kasalanan ko ba na nagugutom sila? (the answer, is it my fault that they are hungry?). hmm.. there is a point there, somewhere.

after my food-poisoning incident last november, i seldom eat-out anymore. furthermore, i seldom eat at all, moreso if it is a cuisine from the sub-continent (the culprit last year). never you mind, i'd rather starve. i dunno, alien food to me suddenly became sinistrous. close to paranoia perhaps. there could be an "e. coli" or salmonella hidden, swimming in that yummy-looking pungent orange sauce. goodluck! (emphasis at the K).

shaking my head to clear the mind. whew! enough! i have to finish this. i could hear my grandma again, yes ma, i will finish this (grumbling). this is bad, i am hallucinatingkh. i gave a sigh, the show must go on. then, i'm on. one bite after another, it's beginning to be difficult. it's an effort to swallow it down. now and then, it seems the burger is struggling to go out my mouth. but i went on. look, i am making progress.

you know, the hardest part is that last bite. i stared at it for a while. good grief, the last morsel. i am almost ready to blow. the water at the dam is in critical level, it is at the brim. where is the nearest toilet by the way?..... pause, aim, shoot it netless into the ring!

then, after all that has been said and done, nothing is left of the burger, it's done.

sit back straight, tip the head from side-to-side,

take a sip of cola, just to push it down,

and give a resounding belch if you can.

then raise your arms in a V. saying, aah! victory at last!

mission accomplished. what a nice way to finish a burger meal.

khallas!

you don't mess with what?

I had a brief interest with a movie I heard from a levantese friend ages ago during one of our rather routine site inspections. He was rather irritated with it then, or aggitated with something about it. This is not new to me, him being aggitated or similar to that on some obscure issues. Somehow it seems natural for him to be that way. Well, anyway, this movie that he was referring to is a comedy. just a comedy. As he harangued about it, I just politely ignored it all together and simply went into my own business of inspecting some items in the then, being-constructed mall. Eventually, I lost interest in the movie even before I started having to.

Number of months came to pass, and I totally forgot anything about the discussion with my friend and his favorite movie as narrated above, until today.

Actually, I had watched that movie last night. I was actually laughing at the movie. no surprise there since it is supposed to elicit that response, a comedy, right? Thinking, fortunately, my countrymen is not a target of the mockery in this ridiculous movie. Goot. AH! I have now realized, that maybe, that is why my friend was not at all happy about this movie. His sensibilities are offended especially because the bad guys in this movie is them (Again).

A US magazine described it as an obscene, ridiculous and occassionally funny movie that may cause panic in the Middle East and derail the peace process. Too much girgir for me!

What i think is, to put it lightly, is that it was a combination of cultural mockery, politically incorrectness, racist redneck bigotry and whore piggery all-in-one!!! This sick comedy will somehow make you laugh.

Hummous is a common middle eastern food garnish, which literally means chickpeas, grounded to paste and comes with spices. Normally, olive oil is added on-top for presentation. They normally eat it with most dishes. However, in this movie, mockery in mind, it is used everywhere and in everything, barbequeing, hair moisturizer, toothbrushing, you name it.

If ever they decide to mock my native bagoong, i will brush it all-over them for good measure. Let them enjoy the stink of their own hubris. he3!!!

Yani, it is about a conflict in the Middle East about land, people-vs-people, and the right to live in these ancient lands. Wa baden, the protagonists were brought to the shores of milk and honey to enable them to escape the troubles at home and to start a fresh and new life in the new world.

However, these peoples, thought that they have left the troubles of their homeland, are now confronted with each other again, face to face, to death, and with the addition of their new oppressors in, in the supposed to be, land of the free, Amrika.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. This is not a political commentary, it seems that it does not take sides in the conflict. One must not take this garbage seriously. It is anyway, above all, a slapstick comedy, and a wishful love story, and then, a ridiculous action movie. The protagonist fell in-love with the antagonist's sister. Try to figure-out what will come out of it. he3!!! It is not unlike a telenovela back home. The ending of the movie was a reconciliation of both sides.

I somehow pity my friend in being subject to that stress. His people being picked upon by comedians in Hollywood and would surely get to his nerves someday. And there it was, I remember now, my aggitated friend, fuming finally got to his nerves. Whom i totally did not understand before, if i may add, and ignored, and relegated into the backburner of my memory. A sorry and apathetic response from an indio, whom should not be numb and could relate to indignation and suffering. Que horror!

But now I simpathize with him because of the tragedy that they are now suffering under the bombardment of the Israelis. I mourn the inocent harmed and lost.

However, retaliation will not end it, but will just prolong it.

Would it be asking too much if we could see the ending in this conflict be similar to that in the movie?

Khallas!

first article

wow... first article... ano ba ang pwede kong isulat dito? ang sabi sa akin nung tumulak sa akin na magsulat dito eh pwede yung mga experiences ko dito sa dubai... ilang araw na din yun mula ng sabihan nya ako n kailangan ko ng magpost... aba with added pressure eh mukhang mahihirapan ang mga daliri ko magsulat... di ba nila alam na matindi sumpungin ang mga ito ng writers block... ayaw naman makisama ng utak kong walang lamang alak, ayaw tulungan... what to do yanni... may required length ba dito... sana wala... kailangan ko munang ibreak-in ang utak ko ng ilang araw para regular akong makapagsulat ng mga walang sense na nilalaman ng ulo ko... kaya pag pasensyahan nyo na at malamang me mapupulot din kayo sa akin ng paminsan-minsan... kung me mga kailangan kayong mga payo mula sa akin eh pwede kayong sumulat sa akin at di naman akong madamot magbigay ng aking kuro-kuro, haka-haka, cge na nga magbibigay na din ako ng payo (pero di ko sigurado na magagamit nyo ang mga payo ko)... well, that's all for now, and readers, buckle in... hope you will have fun reading same as me writing...

Emirates ID

Meron na akong Emirates ID. Natanggap ko kangina – pinadala by courrier. Isa't kalahating buwan matapos akong mag-apply. Ano kayang maitutulong nito sa akin?

Actually, meron nang kaunting naitulong. Nasulat ko ang “Kanta ng Paghihintay” dahil dito.

Kasama ko si Jovi at Dayan sa pag-a-apply sa Al Barsha Center. Alas dose ng gabi kami pumunta roon noong 17 November 2008, pero hindi pa rin kami ang nauna sa pila. Numbers 10, 11 and 12 lang kami. Habang nakapila kami ni Jovi at natutulog si Dayan sa kotse, naglalaro sa isip ko ang mga linyang naging unang talata ng kanta.

Ito'y isang gabi ng paghihintay.
Hindi ako inaantok.
Ito'y isang gabi ng paghihintay.
Hindi ako mahihimbing.
Magbibilang ng bituin.
Kung gusto mo ay sumabay.
Ito'y isang gabi ng paghihintay.

Alas siete y media ng umaga nang papasukin kami. 150 lamang daw ang pinapasok. Marami pa ring naiwan. Pagkatapos ng dalawang oras, tapos na ang application procedure na may kasamang kaunting interview, fingerprinting at pagkuha ng litrato.

Dumiretso kami sa Noodle Bowl sa Al Diafa pagkatapos at kumain. Doon kami nakakita ng dyaryong 7 Days na ang headline ay “Deadline Extended”. Ok. Basta kami ay tapos na.

Yun namang kanta, natapos ang pagsulat ng lyrics 3 days later. Ito palang si Jovi at Dayan ay nagpla-planong pakasal nitong December. Kaya sa ikalawang talata, naging romantic nang todo ang kanta.

Ito'y isang taon ng pananabik.
Kay tagal nag-aasam.
Ito'y isang taon ng pananabik.
Kay tagal humihiling.
na di lubhang maninimdim.
at di lubhang maiinip.
Ito'y isang taon ng pananabik.

Sa huling talata ay mai-imagine mo ang isang rock star, kasama ang kanyang banda, na nagpe-perform sa harap ng libu-libong Pinoy sa Rakrakan sa Dubai.

Ito'y isang kanta ng paghihintay -
sa titik ay kinakapos.
Ito'y isang kanta ng paghihintay
sa tiempo ng pusong sabik.
Dito ka lang at makinig.
Kung gusto mo ay sumabay.
Ito'y isang kanta ng paghihintay.

Ako yon. Pag wala na kasing mapasukang trabaho sa construction dito dahil sa global crisis, ipu-pursue ko ang matagal ko nang pangarap na . . .

Na na na na na na.
Iilang oras na.

. . . na maging rock star. Pwera biro.

Round-about Drift.

This is a little similar to the world famous Tokyo Drift (from the movie of a different name, HA!). They are both exciting to do and very illegal. Speed junkies are more likely users of this addictive thrill-ride.

However, there are several distinctions to keep them apart; One major difference is that in the latter, you may hit a wall or a column; while the former, you would likely hit another car. Another is that the latter is world famous, and the former is infamously UAE. He3!!!

I don’t usually do this Drift. But unfortunately, I am an occasional doer of the former. And no, I will not whine about it now and tell you my horrifiying car accident details, nor do I intend to soliciting some pity and consolation from you and tell me in-return that I was wrongfully wronged (what?) and violated. Well my friend, we will come to that, but at least not just yet. He3!

Anyway, it’s not my fault!!!! He3!!!!

A drift is a slide of the vehicle perpendicular to the intended direction. Since a round-about is, very good, it is round, and it is more likely that the vehicle inside is induced to drift.

Aside for the physical attributes of a round-about, there is the psychological aura it gives those who enter it. The drivers in that area unexplainably tend to suddenly suffer from acute stupidity, road rage or recklessness. It is like the mysterious Bermuda triangle in some ways, but the round-about is not a triangle (DUH???). Iodized salt please……

Lighting strikes twice, maybe not in the same place, but in the same circumstances. One was at the round-about near the Etisalat Bur Dubai business center, the other was near the Shindagha Tunnel, both in Dubai. What could be wrong? Why do they keep hitting me?

Is my tower of sticks done yet? Not quite.

Funny thing is that there are hundreds of round-about in Al Ain, and no Round-about Drifting has (and I hope, ever will) ever happened. Maybe the problem is the drivers in Dubai are crazy. Good thing I’m transferred to a different place already. He3! Safe!

Also, this bunch of liars driving around this country is causing insufferable harm to other innocent people (like me) on the road. They could tell lies to the investigating police and over-turn the verdict and give you the red copy instead (i.e. the “judgment”, or the police report, yani, you are at-fault while the green copy is the opposite), so you better be on your toes.

Swinging around the round-about at 80 Km/H is quite fun. It is like you’re riding in a roller-coaster ride (uh, redundant again). You should try it yourself sometime. He3!

However, this round-about drift has a major hassle because after doing it, and thereafter get caught, you have to visit the nearest police station to give statements about your demented fun that went wrong. Darn! Those involved in this drift, like the other kind of drift, includes hefty fines and maybe a few black points. kaliwali! A morsel of advise from a junkie like me, just be careful next time and try not to get caught.

My Tower of sticks is done. I’m finished here. You can do anything you want with it. Bring it tumbling down to the ground for all I care. It doesn't matter to me anymore.

Now, we ride baby!

Maui had moved-on.

It happens sometimes without you consciously knowing it that you have to move on and look for yourself out there.

Who? The girl in the picture is who? Ah yes! Partly yes, since she had moved-on in someway or another, but I am not referring to her specifically in this article. Sorry guys, no scoop about her.

It is the apparel that had moved-on, so to speak. Unclear? Let me expound upon this theory.

Flashback!!!!!!!!!

High school, Junior year. The t-shirt brand was the coolest thing so far!! Good thing someone gave me a gift of it that’s why I’m very proud and happy. And I saw a couple of my friends; this was how the conversation went:

Oiey! Nice shirt!
Thanks (am smiling smugly).
Lemmi’ see that tag (he quickly went to the tag at the back of the collar of the shirt). Eih? (Something disappointed him, I wonder.).
How about your tag (the nosey one to the other friend)? He looked. Ooah! Very nice man!
And I also looked at it myself, he is right. The tag indicates that my friend's shirt is original.

The color, texture, and quality of textile, everything looks great. After the faux pax, I gave an inconspicuous glace to my shirt, suddenly it looked pale in comparison. Shucks! I was given a fake, (PEKE PALA!). I was very disappointed. I dunno’ which case is worse, wearing a fake, or not knowing it is a fake. Duh? Ashamed and defeated as I was, I slowly slipped out-of-reach, out-of-sight, and into the background.

Damn! I did not wear that shirt ever again.

Stop. Back to the Future!!!!!!

Here, in the land of sand and oil, after a number of years, I saw this brand of t-shirt again inside a mall. Hah! Payback time! Now I can buy 10 original shirts if I want to. Huh! We’ll see. This time, I would be wearing ORIGINALS! Bwahahaha!!!! Then I began to browse the shirts in display. The problem presented itself in an undeniable way. The designs are way-out-there and above me. Yani, the shirts could be too colorful; maybe the color scheme is “different”; I cannot finger it. The layout and also the arrangement does not speak to me, does not communicate to me. Lastly, the figures/drawings that I expected to see in this brand (a shark in tees and shorts holding a surf board) of shirt is not anymore present there. There is something huge missing, something lacking. I cannot believe it. I am holding the very same brand of t-shirt of high school days, here in my hands, but somehow it is not it, it has dissappeared. I had a feeling that I lost something forever. My nostalgia was dashed into smithereens!

Something had happened. And it hit me, hit me hard. Remember the theory I mentioned earlier? That Maui had moved-on. The answer is, maybe yes. But I recon, that I myself had moved-on also. Not in the same way more likely. And the world had moved-on.
Good grief! I’m getting older faster than I thought.

bow-tie bow!

I bought a printed blue bow-tie in the Mall of the Emirates ages ago. Not the clip-on stuff mind you, but the mature and dignified self-tie tie-type (pardon for the double redundancy, he3!). I used to fancy myself wearing that thing around my neck walking around the party, looking smart and preppy, just like suave actors in the movies. Wicked!

I tried to tie it once, but I was not satisfied with how the finish product looked like. Maybe I did a lousy job in doing-the-knot. Also, I am not used to it. Have you seen a Filipino wearing a bow-tie? Guess not. Another maybe is that it is cultural. I have no roots for it and most (99.5%) of all the “Kabayan” I know are not “in” with the bow-tie thing. So, what the H, I am different from the rest of the potatoes, and I will show it with my unique-”kamote” bow-tie. Bow!

The actual effort is an “extra challenge”. It is like Hercules wrestling Hydra’s heads. It was very difficult to manage and my arms were sore doing the loops-and-turns. Why is it here? Where is that A-Hole? It is supposed to be here. Even though I had instructional print-out sheets of How-to-tie-a-bow-tie-you-idiot, pasted on the wall near the mirror, I am “sotong” (confused) already. In spite of these, the end-result is not very encouraging (to put it lightly). But it looked more like shoe laces of a 4-year old that went awry. B@#$H! So, I decided to put-away the damn thing, well, at least for the time being.

Then suddenly, like a phoenix rising up from the ashes, I resurrected my bow-tie from the abyss of obscurity last night. Something mysterious happened. I cannot explain it, but with some serious effort, that gorgeous bow-tie is now nicely fastened around my neck, complementing my simple handsome self (note: adverse reactions are not permitted). Indeed, practice makes perfect.

Chill!!!!