NOSEBLEEDDOTCOM

“Nose bleed!!”

Medically speaking, Epistaxis is defined as bleeding from the nose. Minor injury to the nose is a common cause. This may be an injury to your nose, or may be due to nose picking. People with blocked noses blow them very hard and this may start bleeding. Infections such as the common cold make the vessels more likely to bleed.

(Siyet!!! Ingles yun ha… NOSE BLEED!!!! TISSUE! TISSUE! TISSUE!!)

However, there is another common cause of a nosebleed (iyung tipong magdurugo talaga ang ilong mo sa hirap!). The following are the “nosebleed” collection that I have gathered around:

Case 1:
I was in the gym one evening when two kabayan ladies came in fully geared up with short-shorts, tank top and rubber shoes and headed to the 2 treadmills beside me. Kabayan 1 set up her ipod and started walking on the treadmill while kabayan 2 was just standing and with arched eyebrows seriously staring on her mobile.

Ten minutes passed by when kabayan 2 noticed her friend and asked:

Kabayan 1: Hoy, ano ba? Bakit seryoso ka jan?
Kabayan 2: Teka lang sandali, nag-iisip pa ako kung paano ko sasabihin…
Kabayan 1: (Sensing that her dear friend is in a dilemma, became eager to help) E, ano ba ang gusto mo kasing sabihin na di mo masabi sabi?
Kabayan 2: Gusto ko sanang sabihin sa kanya na gusto kong ilaglag ang lakad ko para makaatend nang bertdey nya.
Kabayan 1: Eh di sabihin mo, “you want to DROP YOUR WALK to attend the bertday party” (inday, ganito na lang ba, “I want to cancel my previous appointment?” malaglag ka sa kinalalakaran mo, sigue ka!)
Kabayan 2: Ay oo nga, ‘no!! (ay oo nga, eto pa ang isa!)

(NOSE BLEED!!!! TISSUE! TISSUE! TISSUE!!)

Case 2:
On day three of my Hong Kong vacation with some friends, our next stop is Hong Kong DISNEYLAND RESORT (Yehey!!!). We were the first group that was picked up by the tour guide which was good coz we could get the front seats. However, in our dismay there were personal belongings on the seats indicating that it is already occupied by somebody else. So we just settled on the seats directly behind it.

Second group that was picked up were a group of kabayans (approx. 15 pax in total). They were headed by a middle aged woman whom they refer to as “Ma’am”.

As “Ma’am” got in the bus, she stopped beside the 4 empty front seats, and commented “OH, somebody still sitting there already!” (Ano un ma’am? Maybe it should be, “oh, somebody had taken this seat already?”) then headed at the back of the bus.

(Si Ma’am talaga, NOSE BLEED!!!! TISSUE! TISSUE! TISSUE!!)

Case 3:
Still on the tour bus heading to Disneyland, the tour guide was doing her usual stuff. Informing us about the location of restaurants, Cinderella castle, schedule of the fireworks and that Disneyland City Hall gives gifts to guests who are celebrating their birthdays that day. Then she asked the group if anyone is celebrating his/her birthday.

A very excited high pitched voice came from a kabayan at the back of the bus saying, “Me! Me! Todey is my bertday!”

The tour guide congratulated her and advised her to go to Disneyland City Hall to be able to claim a free gift by simply presenting her passport.

Then the excited high pitched voice became a disappointed high pitched voice saying “Aaayyy… I donut hab my passport!”

The tour guide also disappointed, asked her why she did not bring her passport with her. And she replied on her high pitched voice, “you did not TELLED us, eh….” (Asus ka! ”you haven’t told us?”)

(Wwwaaahhhhh!!! )
(Si kabayan, NOSE BLEED!!!! TISSUE! TISSUE! TISSUE!!)

Case 4:
I was enjoying and feasting my eyes on the awesome sceneries outside on our way to China, when suddenly I heard a high pitched shout coming from the back of the bus that ended my tranquility saying,

AAAHHHH!! ITS FALL!!! ITS FALL!!! (oi! baka naman, “aahh!! It fell!!! It fell!!!)

Then came a big bottle of mineral water rolling to the front of the bus.

(Si kabayan na naman, NOSE BLEED!!!! TISSUE! TISSUE! TISSUE!!)

Case 5:
We were in IKEA one afternoon looking for some stuff for the house when we chanced upon a kabayan sales lady and her European customer.

European Customer: Excuse me miss. Could you please tell me where I can find an ice maker?

Kabayan Sales Lady: “ICE MAKER? Ah you mean the maker of yelo!!!” (Huat? Di ba tagalog ang yelo? Pa-sosyal ka pa inday!)

(NOSE BLEED!!!! TISSUE! TISSUE! TISSUE!!)


Case 6:
This is the best of them all!!!

Quote

Dear All Good morning, I would like to thank all the staff committee members for giving us the help during
Last week (Kailan ba talaga? Noong isang linggo pa o kasalukuyan?) , we pasted in their office (Ano ito? Cut and paste?) in cargo village
Really it was a very good opportunity to meet and to work with another part of XYZ team and i would give a special thanks for the persons i didn’t say good by to them yesterday (Sana lang naintindihan ninyo iyun, o baka naman gusto nyo na ng tissue?)have a good day see you soon Very Best Regards AIDA

Unquote

(Si Aida Ferchichi, NOSE BLEED!!!! TISSUE! TISSUE! TISSUE!! Parang naubos na tissue ko ah!)

So far, exposure to these nose bleeding circumstances can cause mild nasal hemorrhage. If symptoms persists, insult your doctor.

Bubble has busted!

It started in the US, where the property sector fell to the ground in flames. Then, from some reason or another, in the UK and Europe, banks suddenly fell like flies. Across the Atlantic, large banks in the US filed for bankruptcy. The American Congress is deliberating for a huge economic bail-out for main industries that are gravely hit by the onslaught of the recession. Consequently, the rest of the world was in a scramble, looking for cover from the economic fall-out.

Some said that there were signs that a recession is ahead. Politicians and economic managers somehow, according to their ulterior motives, ignored these signs, or rather, brushed it under the rug.

Like a tsunami, it hit the coasts of far-away regions and swept away billions upon billions of dollars, reducing the coastline into a damaged and impoverished wasteland.

Lo and behold, Dubai is the beach-head of the UAE, splendid, high and rich as it is, crumbled to the ground, breaking into pieces, severely maligned by this global catastrophe. Hundreds of expatriates were immediately laid-off in this great city alone. The economic implications are staggering in magnitude. All sectors are affected, one way or another, in more ways than another. No one is safe now.

Dubai is hardest hit of all the emirates in the UAE because it is more exposed in the global financial market. An anomaly in the worldwide trading system has serious, and now, as we are presently experiencing it, have negative repercussions here. Experts say that we are in an unprecedented downward spiral towards global financial collapse, and no one can predict when the recession will last.

None in this once proud city, do not know someone who were recently re-trenched or worse, downright fired. Hiring in companies is stopped. Job contacts were suspended indefinitely. Some people may estimate it to 97% of all projects in Dubai are either on-hold, shelved, stopped, cancelled or a variation thereof. The construction industry is literally in a stand-still.

Traders are now demanding for small change unlike before, it is easily forgiven. Credit cards were relaxed in their payment collection whereas now, a few days of delay would warrant you to be threatened with incarceration. Banks now are very stringent in the approval of personal loans, or worse, as the gossip grapevine suggests, they are not lending at all. Accommodation annual rentals may not go up, but landlords demand 100% payment instead.

Where to find money in this cash bereft city?

The bad times are undeniably and unmistakably here.

Is this the very end of the “Dubai Dream”? Maybe it is.

Of all the worries going around, one thing is for certain. The dream of Dubai that was, the wonder that sparked imagination, and the glittering thing that attracted countless many is all but no more. The financial plague consumed it. The bleak reality has set in. The bubble has busted and we can do nothing about it.

Halaga ng bandila sa kotse

Ang komentaryong ito ay pag-sagot sa sulat sa pinaka-ibaba:

Para sa kung sino man iyun na “mas higit na nakaka-alam”,

Una, hindi ako nagsasabi na burahin ang Plate Number ko sa computer ng mga pobre nating kababayan na nagtatrabaho sa tanggapan na nagbabantay ng lansangan. Bakit nga ba nila binubura? Pinagtatakpan ba nila ang mga pagkakamali ng iba nating mga kababayan na hindi sumusunod sa batas? Mali naman iyun. Mali sila dun. Kung sino ang nagkamali, siya ang managot.

Pangalawa, hindi kasalanan ng bandila ng ating bansa ang pagkakamaling ito. Walang kinalaman ito sa pagkakamali ng ilan nating mga kababayan. Inilagay ko ang bandila sa likod ng aking sasakyan upang ipakita sa buong mundo na ako ay galing sa “Lupang Hinirang”. Hindi ko ninais at ayaw kong maghari-harian sa mga kalye dito. Gusto ko lamang makarating ng payapa at matiwasay sa aking pupuntahan. Magkarerahan sa Sheikh Zayed? Ipaubaya mo na lang iyun sa mga taga-rito kung gusto nila.

Hindi nyo ba alam kung ano ang ibinuwis ng ating mga ninuno noong panahon nang Himagsikan? Binili ang ating kalayaan nang Dugo! Ang bandilang ito ang sagisag nang kabayanihan ng mga nagmahal sa ating bansa. Tapos sino ka na magsasabi na tanggalin ko ang bandilang ito sa kadahilanang may mga tukmol na tao na gumagawa ng mga kalokohan para ikahiya ko ang sagisag ng aking bayan?

Tama ang pamahalaang ito na palayasin ang mga napatunayang gumawa nang kasalanan. Khallas!!!

At kung nasa aking kamay ang kanilang buhay, baka bitay pa ang hatol ko sa kanila. Ano pa ba ang hatol sa nakakahiyan na ginawa nila? Hara-kiri? Sayang lang, hindi tayo Hapon.

Kayong mga kababayan ko, hindi kayo naparito sa gitnang silangan upang magtarantado at maghari-harian. Lumugar naman kayo. Mga panauhin lamang tayo rito. Kumilos kayo nang nararapat.

Magising sana kayo sa katotohanan.

Mabuhay tayong lahat! Mabuhay ang Pilipinas!

-0-

Ang sulat na pinagmulan ng isyu na ito.

Paki inform mga kabayan natin,

> > Kelan lang ay may naglabasang balita na pag may FLAG sticker ng > Pilipinas ang kotse mo ay ligtas kana sa mga violation sa kalsada > katulad ng overspeeding at beating the red light, dahil diumano'y ang > mga kababayan nating Pilipino ang kumukuha or nagda-download nito sa > mga nagkalat na camera sa kalsada at intersection. > >

Ang mga bali-balitang ito po ay nakarating nasa kinauukulan ng > Ministry of Interior at pilit na pinagpapaliwanag ang mga pobre nating > kababayan na nagtata-trabaho doon, ang ilan sa kanila ngyo'y under > surveillance at ang iba naman ay napauwi na. Marami sa mga kababayan > natin ang galit dahil ang iba sa knila'y nawalan ng trabaho at ito'y > ipinararating nila sa karamihan na kung pwede sana paki-tanggal na ang > mga sticker ng Philippine flag sa inyong mga sasakyan at kung gusto > nyo naman eh pwede nyong ilipat ng location ang sticker wag lang po sa > likod or wag malapit sa Registration Number. > >

Para maiwasan po ang kahit na anong problema na ating kakaharapin sa > kalsada ay sumunod na lamang po raw tyo. Ang sabi nila'y nasa watch > list ng MOI ang mga sasakyan na may flag ng bansa natin. Eto po ay > pawing transmitted message lamang ng mga taong mas may higit na > kaalaman.

> > Maraming salamat poh!

Long, Long Driving

Long drives from Al Ain to Dubai would take approximately 2 hours, and could be a daunting task because you are looking forward into the next couple of hours driving alone in the middle of nowhere. Furthermore, it could just be outright boring.
That is unless you do something about it. He3!!! Actually, you can do many things to keep you busy. Herein listed below are some suggestions to consider:
1. Listen to the Radio. Music can keep you company during long driving. Singing with your favorite hits or maybe shouting with it as if there is no tomorrow bro! However, you can only do that when you leave Al Ain town proper because it is difficult to catch english radio station frequencies there. I dunno if it is intentional or somethin’ b’coz even if the digital radio’s frequency is fixed in an english dubai channel, there is still a bellowing habibi comes thru the car radio. But that is just temporary. When you get to the fringes of the town, radio channels are back to normal. Keep on rollin’ baby!!!! Haya-haya habibi!!!! Nyeek!!!
2. Race. Yup, you’ve read it right, race. That four letter word that most people fear. I am not actually encouraging people out there to do careless drag-racing in the Dubai-Al Ain Highway. Nope, not that kind of race. Then, what the heck am I driving at? Well, let me explain it like this, play and imagine that you are in the Grand Prix. Thunderin’ motor-noise and cars passing at high speed. Whow! Adrenaline pumpin’ dude! Get the Tokyo Drift? Then continue, choose a competitor; there are many ways to find one. Observe the traffic population. Nope not that new shiny 4WD that sped past you, its waaaay outta your league. How about that wretched looking ancient dirty-white hatchback that is screeching thru the road on your left side? Nope. Mismatch. Look at the front-right side, there booming a 10-year-old Gringo 4WD. This is the competition? Why not? And then, Bang!!! Shot Fired!!! And the race is on!!! Run in full speed past the Gringo to challenge him, he will get what you mean. “Days of Thunder” is here!
3. Speed-Cam Watching. Out there in the desolate desert wasteland, in the wild high highway (he3! Similar to “the wild high seas”, get it?), where you thought you could have peace and tranquility and speed-up to your whim. It is just you, sand, breeze, rustle of grass, stars in the sky, WELL YOUR WRON-G! There are these loathed, evil devices called speed-cameras to harass you and make your life miserable. You would be forced to slow down and drive at 139 km/hr (a hairline below the speed limit) especially when you see a speedometer a few meters ahead. If you had just passed that hated device, immediately zoom above 150 or more and stay on guard for the next one at the left side of the road.
4. Speed Lane Hugging. The left-most lane near the road-island is the “speed lane”. Where all the newly minted, high-powered, bombastic and flashy automobiles speed-by, leaving you green with envy. They run to 200 and with headlights full-blast (sometimes light flashing), telling anybody blocking their way; “get the hell out of my way”. Since many people do not want to be bothered by these “show-offs”, the second lane is the popular choice for peaceful driving. But then again, who wants a peaceful-boring drive? Not me! He3! Wait for you chance to get inside the first lane, coast is clear? Go with headlights in full-blast too! Run to the limit. Chase away slow cars and make the sheep go to the second lane. However, when a much faster car approaches your rear, sway to the second lane, as the alpha passes, then spring back again to the first. Be persistent, consistently harass the sheep, mind you, you are a fine shepherd breed! Ruff!!! Ruff!!! You’ll be reaching the emirate-border in no time!
5. Pick a fight. No, not the actual physical thing, you rascal. Look for something unusual. How about a car with light in-full-blast but it not running fast enough? Good sport! He3! Go in swing in front of him and step on the ciliñador amigo! He will eat smoke and be humiliated for sure. The bloke would try to out-maneuver you and retaliate. Thus, you have your dog-fight. Several twists and turns would happen in the contest. And before you know it, you are in sight of the glittering Dubai Business Bay over-passes. Argh pirates! Land ahoy!!!
Please be noted that these written above are only suggestions that may relieve you of your boredom and are not intended in anyway; in getting you killed. Caution must be undertaken not to overdo any said tips and considerations.
Remember to drive safely (talking about U-Turn, he3!!!).
Khallas!

Christmastime carol

This morning, just after Pacquiao won his match with Dela Hoya, my teenaged daughter Meg and I wrote together lyrics for a carol in a Yahoo Messenger chatbox.

The carol was an assignment for her English class. She was to come up with the lyrics and her groupmates were to compose the music. She said she didn't know how to do it and asked me to help. In around 1 and half hours of chatting, we wrote lines, argued, filled in missing words, argued, searched an online rhyming dictionary, argued, rewrote and rearranged the lines and reargued. Here are the final lyrics of the carol, which she titled "Christmastime".

It's Christmastime.
I stop and think of love that heaven sent.
It's Christmastime.
I thank God that you took me as your friend
and I wish you a wonderful time,
my buddy, my mate, my pal.

It's Christmastime.
I think of all the days that we've been through.
It's Christmastime.
I'm thankful that I have a friend in you
and I wish you a wonderful time,
as wonderful as you are!

Merry Christmas!

Rakrakan raks

I went to the Rakrakan Fest 2008 last night with my friends at the Dubai Festival City. The concert, sponsored by The Filipino Channel, featured Pupil, Kamikaze, Dawn and Bamboo.



Pupil, with former Eraserheads frontman Ely Buendia, opened the show at around 7:00pm. Their sound was a bit raw, reminding you of the Rolling Stones. It's OK because the songs are good. Towards the end, they sang Eraserheads songs, including “Pare Ko” and “Alapaap”, in new arrangements. The crowd roared with approval as soon as they recognized the songs and sang along. Their finale number “Ang Huling El Bimbo”, I think, was one of the highlights of the concert. Buendia's Eraserheads bandmate Buddy Zabala, who is now with the Dawn, joined Pupil in this song.

Kamikaze played next. I'm not really into their kind of music but I enjoyed their set because the lead singer Jay Contreras was very funny with his confessional talks, dance steps and circus acts. Ang saya!

The Dawn, who's been around since the 80s, followed with “Iisang Banka” as opener. Their sound seemed to me the most polished. Vocalist Jett Pangan is still good. And Francis Reyes is still one of the best guitarists we have around. Their closing number “Salamat” was probably the highlight of the evening. It seemed that everyone was charged up and danced and sang along.



Bamboo was the last to perform. The band started with Rivermaya songs followed by their new ones that I'm not familiar with. They did “Noypi” in the middle of the set. “Here's our song”, former Rivermaya vocalist Bamboo Manalac introduced it. For me, “Noypi” is one of the best Pinoy rock songs ever written, along with “Ang Huling El Bimbo” and “Salamat” and some others. Yup, it's our song. Manalac did well in most of the songs. The surprise for me was the guitarist. I enjoyed his solos which bordered on jazz. They closed the concert with the Rivermaya song “Kisap Mata”.

Just before the first song of the evening, Pupil's Yan Yuzon proclaimed, “Ngayong gabi, nasa-Pilipinas tayo! (Tonight, we are in the Philippines!)”. He was right. For 5 hours, I felt I was, rocking with my friends and around 15,000 other Pinoys.

The mall

The Dubai Mall opened 2 days ago. At the moment, it is THE mall. It is what everybody is talking about. It is where everybody is going. It is the new center of the earth. (Teka, where did I read that one?)

The mall was the reason why I came here to Dubai 3 years ago. Its completion will not be a reason to leave, I hope. Despite the difficulties, masarap pa ring magtrabaho rito.

See you at The mall.